
A Natural History of Bums
Bertie Williams, illustrated by Inga Ziemele
Wide Eyed Editions
If you’ve been to Margate (Kent) in the last three or four years then you’re probably aware of its most unusual and popular tourist attraction, the award winning Crab Museum.. As well as giving visitors an insight into the lives of crabs, it also examines vital topics such as climate change and evolutionary history and it does all these things with humour. This same humour is present in this book written by one of the museum’s co-directors, Bertie Williams aided and abetted by illustrator Inga Ziemele and two crab narrators that act as guides for readers, taking us from the ancient patooties of around 800 million years ago to the mud chutes of modern times.
Having cleared up the matter of the role bums play, the author moves to the tricky question ‘But what is a bum?’ and thereafter that vital word evolution crops up and we leap into the bum Time Vortex at the invitation of the crab duo and are taken on a fascinating journey from bumbles’ prehistory through the many billions of years of life on Earth, following the changing shapes and functions of patooties. Said patooties are, we read, ‘pretty recent inventions and as the narrators retrace the 560ish million year story through to the present ‘Age of the Anus’ heaps of fascinating snippets emerge.

One some readers may be familiar with is that a wombat uses the plates of bone in its bum to protect itself from predators and a wombat’s poos emerge from said bum in cubes, and – wait for it – ‘in relation to body size, humans have the ‘biggest bums on Earth. Moreover, ‘if a blue whale was shrunk down to the size of a human, the human would win in a big booty bum-off.” Plus, human bums allow us to walk on two legs, thanks to the muscles found in our bum cheeks.

As you’ve probably gathered, animals have a vast variety of bottoms but possibly none so interesting as the human one; it makes the glowing bum of a fungus gnat pale into insignificance.
This is bound to be a winner.








































































































































































































