The Monstrous Tale of Celery Crumble

The Monstrous Tale of Celery Crumble
Ben Joel Price
Oxford University Press

Meet Celery Crumble, a mischievous young miss if ever there was one. Whenever Celery commits one of her misdemeanours she doesn’t apologise in the proper way; instead she says, ‘Sorry! Not sorry!’ and shortly after goes on to do something equally outrageous.

There was the time she treated her father to a birthday breakfast in bed but omitted one very vital thing.

Then, when the boy next door comes to play at Celery’s invitation, her rainbow painting is NOT on paper (or even the wall).

On each occasion, the person on the receiving end of her bad behaviour responds thus: ‘If you act like a monster then a monster you’ll become. Then you’ll be sorry for all the naughty things you’ve done!’

On the school zoo trip, this recalcitrant child takes a large sealed glass jar into which she’s collected the most obnoxious smells she could find. Needless to say, said jar doesn’t stay sealed for long and the result is pandemonium …

You can guess how everyone responded.

Back home in bed that evening, Celery’s sleep is, let’s say monstrously uncomfortable, not to mention transformative …

Perhaps it’s now time to make apologies for real. Err …

Young children will absolutely relish this ‘do-as-you-would-be done-by’ cautionary tale with its spirited scenes of Celery’s preposterous actions and their outcomes and demand immediate re-readings.

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