Do Not Say These Words
Frances Tosdevin and Rhian Wright
UCLAN Publishing

Words are powerful, that is something children learn very early in their lives and once they start speaking that opens up a whole new wealth of possibilities, one of which is humour. It’s humour that author Frances Tosdevin and illustrator Rhian Wright very clearly have had great fun exploring in this splendidly silly book.

We’re in the hands of expert scientist and inventor, The Professor. She, by means of a series of words that young children already think of as a tad naughty, explains that the hilarity induced by the utterance of these words causes giggle-gas and the effect of too much of this in the air is detrimental to the environment. Indeed the world will end up zig zagging around the solar system and we humans will all fall off. The sure way to prevent such a catastrophe is by banning these words and she, aided and abetted by her trusty froggy assistants, have invented a machine that turns these world-wobbling words into harmless, unfunny ones.

The first word for the Prof’s zapping treatment is ‘BOTTOM’ and its safe replacement is in her words, the unfunny ‘FLOPPY PEACH-CHEEKS.’ – make sure you keep a straight face when you read that. next is ‘FART’.

I love the way the alternatives generated by the machine are generated through Rhian Wright’s dramatic illustrations bursting with small details. These provide a great complement to Frances Tosdevin’s terrific text, which offers opportunities for audience participation.

Share this in a classroom – it will appeal across a wide age range – and you’ll likely have the listeners going almost as berserk as the Prof’s machine as the story nears its dramatic conclusion. My partner was spluttering with laughter as we shared it..