Tag Emer Stamp

The Unbelievable Top Secret Diary of Pig

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The Unbelievable Top Secret Diary of Pig
Emer Stamp
Scholastic

If you didn’t read the original black and white edition of this crazy story when it was published some ten years back, then you need to know that Pig’s assertion, ‘I is 465 sunsets old’ definitely needs updating although the creature does supply a kind of get out clause in his introduction. This version has colour on every spread : I’m not sure if that makes it even sillier but it certainly makes it a whole lot brighter. Pig’s grammar hasn’t improved however.

Essentially it’s a hugely funny book written in diary form by a farmyard pig called Pig who has a best friend called Duck, another so he thinks friend, Farmer, and some dastardly enemies, the Evil Chickens. They, Duck reports, are secretly building a space rocket from a broken tractor. A trocket, so the Super Evil Chicken informs Pig and proceeds to ask the porcine diarist to fly the thing to Pluto. 

At first Pig refuses but then, having learned something horrifying about Farmer’s intentions, decides to reverse his decision and grab the chance to escape the terrible fate that otherwise awaits.

Now this machine is poo powered so rest assured there will be a fair bit of poo involved in the story, farts too, so if that bothers you and you choose not to read the book, you are missing a treat. It’s exuberant and so well imagined, Yes, the mission goes somewhat awry but all ends satisfactorily for Pig and Duck, more or less, anyhow.

PESTS: Battle to the End / The Ape Star

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PESTS: Battle to the End
Emer Stamp
Hodder Children’s Books

It’s now the summer term for P.E.S.T.S and when Dr Krapotkin announces the sports night competition, no pupil could be more surprised than Stix when his hyper-cautious Grandma signs the chit allowing him to participate, which means going Outside into the garden. Our favourite mouse is super-excited. Their opponents are to be local arch-rivals and sister school V.E.R.M.I.N and the teams will be vying for the Mexico World Cup 86 trophy (actually an old chipped mug).

Some rigorous training takes place before the big event, the result of which doesn’t leave the PESTS bursting with the confidence Dr Krapotkin had hoped, though she still remains confident her team will win. Perhaps sone positive affirmations might help.

On competition day the PESTS head off to the venue and meet their streetwise opponents and their waspish headteacher Sir Sting-a-lot. After two events the VERMIN have zoomed into the lead and a despondent Stix briefly considers quitting but decides against it and the PESTS pull back to make it 2:2. A tie-breaker is the order of the day. Then suddenly something feels very wrong. Surely it couldn’t have anything to do with the dastardly Professor Armageddon, could it? Perhaps now it’s time for co-operation rather than competition.

With creepy cockroaches, a few smatterings of poo (of various shapes and sizes), an injured Batz, and a singing toy phone, it’s going to be a close call in more ways than one. Never mind the trophy, there’s a very big surprise for Stix when he finally reports back to Grandma.

I found myself laughing out load frequently as I read this hilarious, third PESTS romp and I’m sure the target audience of primary school age readers will do likewise. Love the mischief, love the characters – most of them – and love the droll drawings.

The Ape Star
Frida Nilsson
Gecko Press

Originating in Sweden, this is a story about love of an unconventional kind and being an outsider. It begins with a group of children, freshly washed and adorned, lining up in an orphanage in the hope that one of them will be chosen to be adopted and move to a home of their own. Who though is the visitor that arrives? It’s not a caring mother, nor a rich, charitable person; rather it’s a gorilla standing before the children and the one chosen to accompany the adopter is the narrator, nine year old Jonna who has always dreamed of being part of a loving family.

Now she has to go with this huge creature and goodness knows what might happen, for her adopter lives in a junkyard; but the papers are duly signed and so Jonna has no choice but to climb into the old Volvo with the gorilla whose head is like an overgrown pear.

At the gorilla’s residence Jonna is given a hammock to sleep in and Gorilla sits in her battered armchair reading Dickens. Seemingly the two have more in common than you might imagine; a bond forms between them. Just when the two are getting along just fine a man from the council turns up threatening to send Jonna back to the orphanage.

There’s near heart-break and a surprising discovery but can the combination of Jonna’s courage, perseverance and empathy combined with Gorilla’s compassion, and teamwork prevail over prejudice, greed and dishonesty? Long live books and the power of love.

Pests

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Pests
Emer Stamp
Hodder Children’s Books

Having received a proof of this hilarious story from the publishers a little while ago, I was excited to see a finished copy of the book with its ‘glow in the dark’ cover drop through my letterbox.

Star of the show, Stix is a tiny mouse that lives with his ancient Grandma behind the washing machine of Flat 3, Peewit Mansions. The ’mans’ family – Schnookums, My Love and tiny Boo-Boo also live there along with their dog Trevor, the only one that knows anything about their flat-sharing mice.

The mice have survived thus far by sticking firmly to Grandma’s strict rules – number 3 being ‘never poop in places mans will see’. Breaking this rule would result in a visit from Nuke-a-Pest.

One night into this peaceable place of co-existence comes Maximus a nasty rat with his two hangers on Plague One and Plague Two. His arrival soon results in disaster of the discovery kind, which is followed speedily by Sheila, Emergency Response Exterminator who flushes Grandma down the loo.

At least her ‘dead’ pose was a success but it leaves Stix alone, well not quite alone for back on the scene comes the previously encountered Batz, student at the Peewit Educatorium for Seriously Terrible Scoundrels (aka PESTS).

Stix joins the basement school and finds himself learning a whole new set of rules as well as competing in the Pest of the Year competition, determined to knock the dastardly Maximus off the top spot.

Step forward rule saboteur Professor Armageddon with a terrible plot of his own; but is Stix prepared to follow the directions of a cockroach and do what he knows to be wrong in order to gain extra points in a competition?

All’s well that ends well and this tale surely does. With an infusion of toilet humour, a great deal of suspense and some brilliant characterisation, this is a terrific adventure; there’s warmth and wisdom too; and the illustrations, generously scattered, are wonderful.  Giggles aplenty guaranteed throughout.

Oink! / Daddy Fartypants

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In your face or subtle, toilet humour books are always winners with young children: here are a couple of recent, contrasting examples:

Oink!
David Elliot
Gecko Press

David Elliot tells this hilarious tale entirely through delicate watery scenes of a pig’s bathtime along with onomatopoeic sound effects, mostly animal but punctuated by ‘Knock! Knock! (s)

It starts with pig climbing into his, one assumes, eagerly anticipated steaming bath-tub; but he’s no sooner sat back for a relaxing soak when ‘ Knock! Knock!’ “Maaa?” a sheep clad in pink frilly skirt and clutching a toy boat enters and proceeds to climb into the tub. (Her utterance, one assumes is a polite request).

Further knocks see more unruly creatures, first a horned bovine character …

followed by an ungulate (donkey/horse?) ensconcing themselves in pig’s increasingly noisy bath.

Pig though utters not a sound but then … One tub-emptying action later

 

things – or actually animals – start to move …

Peace at last! Time to top up the hot water and relax. Ahhhh! Bliss.

No telling – just showing – and absolutely brilliantly done in Elliott’s subtly comic, brilliantly expressive pencil and watercolour scenes.

An absolutely smashing pre-bedtime sharing book for which your little humans will delight in supplying the various noises. If I was in an early years setting I’d set up a small world play scene complete with tub and animals for the children to act out the tale.

Daddy Fartypants
Emer Stamp and Matt Hunt
Orchard Books

Meet dad bear, farty bum extraordinaire. The trouble is no matter how clear it is that’s he’s the culprit when it comes to noxious rear end emissions, he never never owns up to his trumps and parps. Instead he blames others, no matter who, no matter where, no matter when.

Not a single apology or pardon so much as reaches his lips, no not ever.

One day when collecting his forbearing son from school, Daddy Fartypants encounters an attractive new teacher, Miss Lovelybear and as he eagerly approaches, she lets loose a gargantuan gust from her derrière. And does that teacher issue an excuse? Oh dear me, no she does not: instead she points the paw at guess who … Outrageous!

Game, set and match to Miss L. Her terrible toot triggers a realisation on Daddy F’s part. Repentant, he promises to become a changed character when it comes to rear end rumbles and so far as we know he’s been true to his word.

Totally terrific fun, Emer Stamp has come up trumps with this thoroughly moral tale, and Matt Hunt’s splendid, sonic blast, pant-ripping illustrations speak volumes – quite literally. PHOOAW! Your little ones will relish this book as did this reviewer whose partner could give Daddy Fartypants a run for his money when it comes to windy issuances – he does own up though, I hasten to add.