Chronicles Of A Lizard Nobody
Patrick Ness, illustrated by Tim Miller
Walker Books

“ I’m making you both Hall Monitors,” Principal Wombat said, though she quickly added, “This isn’t because you’re monitor lizards.” So begins this laugh-out-loud school story with a difference , seemingly the first of a series, aimed at primary readers, from Carnegie medal winning Patrick Ness.
It’s not long before Zeke, one of the chosen two and rather large, demonstrates how incompetent he is at the role. He has an unpleasant encounter with the school bully Pelicarnassus (son of an international supervillain), punches him in the beak and loses his position as hall monitor.

Another problem for Zeke soon raises its head at school; it’s that due to an ancient family curse the entire country of France appeared on Zeke’s knee after the death of his father. Now his class is to study France and teacher Mr MacPherson has the lizard sitting on the edge of the teacher’s desk and is using the shape on Zeke’s knee as a visual aid. Add to that the fact that since his father’s death, Zeke’s mother has been suffering from depression and the young lizard has an awful lot to cope with. On the positive side, however, Zeke has some loyal, brave friends who are often on hand to offer wise words and to assist in his efforts to save their school.

Ness uses an anthropomorphic cast to present the sort of issues human children might face at school every day – bullying, intimidation, violence, fat-shaming and insensitivity to disabilities. His combination of splendid silliness, tenderness and poignancy works effectively, so much so that readers will find themselves laughing frequently. Making the whole thing even funnier are Tim Miller’s zany ink drawings. Underestimating a monitor lizard is not to be advised.